


loving you, darling, makes me so confused

by thoughtsafterdark



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton Irwin Has a Daddy Kink, Ashton is 23, Calum is 19, Drunk Calum Hood, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Swearing, slightly sexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 11:14:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15750543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtsafterdark/pseuds/thoughtsafterdark
Summary: It was terrible, how much he was drinking. He was definitely going to be feeling it in the morning, which meant that there was no way in hell he was getting out of bed tomorrow, not even if the house was on fire. Calum found himself thinking back to all the other times he’d been hungover, how bad of a headache he got and how they seemed to get progressively worse with each time. Or how he felt like death for a solid two days after the party, before slowly becoming himself again. Or how he had wished someone was there to take care of the 19 year old boy afterwards. More importantly, how he wished Ashton would be there to help him after a night out.orthe one where calum gets wasted, gets himself into a bit of trouble and ashton saves him. and in the process, calum accidentally calls the older boy daddy.





	loving you, darling, makes me so confused

**Author's Note:**

> title is from fallin' by alicia keys, song has no connection to story
> 
> i wrote this not too long ago, after i had taken a break from writing. hopes it not too terrible. and please excuse any errors there may be, i didn't have the time to edit it. enjoy!

Calum could feel the alcohol coursing through his veins and bloodstream, the buzz of it warming his whole body. He found himself examining the people surrounding him, who were all, except for Calum, Hayes, Luke and Michael, were sat on the floor in some kind of poorly executed circle. The whole group of around 10 intoxicated teenagers were laughing and joking about something and just enjoying themselves. Calum felt slightly jealous of all his friends; he wasn’t like them. When everyone else got drunk, they came out of their shell, and all the once quiet people (with the exception of Cal and Luke) were talking more and engaging themselves in the conversation. But Calum wasn’t like that. No matter how much alcohol he consumed, it only seemed to push him further in his shell, making him all shy and sentimental and a tad bit clingy. Despite feeling envious of his fellow peers and their ability to let loose, Calum still very much enjoyed watching both Hayes and Michael, who were very loud drunks, look like idiots with their slurred speech and slow movements. Calum also enjoyed the fact that Hayes let him curl up into her side, hiding his face in her shoulder. Like he said, he was clingy and always in constant need of physical contact with someone when he was drunk.

By now though, everyone was used to how clingy and affectionate drunk Calum was. Nobody really minded having the small Maori boy curled up into their side, or have him playing with their fingers as they talked. They all thought it was adorable. And everyone knew Calum only had his eyes out for a certain someone so no one would ever think much if Calum did something remotely questionable. He was just drunk and in need of attention and he wouldn’t dare kiss anyone other than Ashton Irwin, drunk or not. Calum was head over heels for the older boy.

Calum spent the majority of the night clinging onto Hayes’ side. He didn’t want to leave where he was settled, all warm and cozy, surrounded by all his favourite people. Luckily, he didn’t have to get up at all to get drinks because every time either Michael or Luke got up, they’d always bring him another Bud Light. It was terrible, how much he was drinking. He was definitely going to be feeling it in the morning, which meant that there was no way in hell he was getting out of bed tomorrow, not even if the house was on fire. Calum found himself thinking back to all the other times he’d been hungover, how bad of a headache he got and how they seemed to get progressively worse with each time, or how he felt like death for a solid two days after the party before slowly becoming himself again. Or how he had wished someone was there to take care of the 19 year old boy afterwards, more importantly, how he wished Ashton would be there to help him after a night out.

Calum groans at the thought of tomorrow morning, rolling his head to the side as he swirled the beer can in his hand. As he shifted his position on the couch to something more comfortable, he saw Ashton staring at him with hungry eyes from over at the kitchen Island. Calum saw Ashton eyeing him up, but before Ashton could catch the younger boys stare, Calum looked away, hiding his red face in Hayes’ neck.

“Why is Ash staring at me like that?” He asked weakly, moving away from her neck to look at her. Hayes turned to face him, staring at him with her eyes that were so much like Ashton’s. He was about to comment on that little detail, about how funny it was that the two looked almost identical, before he remembered that he was an idiot and that Hayes was Ashton’s little sister.

“Like what?” She questioned, following her best friends gaze as she sees her older brother checking Calum out. She lets out a little laugh, drawing Calum’s attention back to her and the group. “Now I see it.”

“He looks like he wants to jump my bones. Like it’s hot and I’m totally down, but it's kind of scaring me.”

“Cal, he totally wants to “jump your bones”, as you put it.” Calum choked on his beer, looking at his best friend in disbelief. There was no way he heard her right. Ashton would never want someone like him, a small and scrawny 19 year old who plays hockey. Calum was so not Ashton's type, he’d only ever seen Ashton with artsy boys or punk boys, no jocks. “I’ve heard him talking with Luke’s brothers. And all he does is ask me about you.” She leaned down and whispered in his ear. “And you have my full support if you go for him. In my opinion, you’d look pretty fucking hot as a couple. And then there’s a possibility that if you end up marrying the bastard, you’d be my real brother, like, for realzies.” ‘Oh god,’ Calum thought to himself, ‘she’s so drunk but so fucking right.’

“We would be fucking hot together,” Calum breathed, glancing back to where the older boy was still stood. Calum could see Ashton sipping on his water, his eyes still fixed on Calum. A shiver ran down Calums spine as Ashton smirked at him and sent him a small wink. It was enough to make him feel flustered again and swivel back to face his best friend again. But instead of having Hayes to hide behind, Michael was now where Hayes once was. Not that Calum was complaining, Michael definitely gave the best hugs and cuddles out of the group of them, but Calum needed to ask Hayes for advice. But Michael was already starting to speak and he could’t just leave his other best friend, that would just be a dick move. Instead, he sat and listened to Mike, realizing that he was giving Calum shit for not talking to Ashton.

“Like you’re one to talk about admitting feelings,” he scoffed, watching as Mike just stared at him with his wide green eyes. The pale boy downed the last of his beer as Calum continued, running a hand through his brown curls. “You still haven’t told Luke. So I don’t think you’re in any place to tell me what to do about my feelings when you can’t even act on your own.”

“I hate when you do this,” Michael groaned. Calum raised an eyebrow in confusion. “You know, when you get all smart ass and end up telling the person off and shit.” Calum just nodded. “But, if I’m being honest, just tell the fucking dude. Whats the worst that could happen?”

“Well, rejection, for one. Or a drink down the shirt or in the face. Or ruining the friendship I have with him.” Calum exclaimed, leaning forward and holding his head in his hands. He could feel a hand rest on his back and he’s not sure if it’s Michael or if it’s Luke who just happened to tune in to see Calum like that. He wasn’t sure and quite frankly didn’t care. But Michael was right, Calum had to tell Ashton. It just wouldn’t feel right if he didn’t.

“I will tell him,” Calum looked up briefly and saw that both Luke and Michael had a soothing hand on his back. He silently thanked god for giving him such good friends. “Just not when in drunk off my ass. He won’t believe me.”

An hour and four drinks later, Calum found himself on the dance floor, surrounded by so many other drunk and sweaty people. He didn’t know how or who he was grinding on but it definitely wasn’t Ashton. But he’s too drunk to try and identify the person behind him, the one who has their hands under Calums shirt and their mouth pressed hotly against his neck. Some reason, he didn’t really care, he was just enjoying the small moment of feeling just a little free. An involuntary shiver traveled down his spine when he felt a warm kiss pressed under his ear, one that was unfamiliar and unwanted. He didn’t like it anymore but he didn’t have the nerve or energy to pull away from the body pressed tightly against his back. In a desperate attempt, he scanned the room and found a set of familiar eyes, still watching him hungrily, but with a hint of anger. He sighed a breath of relief and was silently begging the older boy to come rescue him. Ashton just continued glaring at him, not making any effort to rescue him, which made Calum a little bit angry but he wouldn’t let it show. Instead, he tried again as soon as the pair of arms tightened around his middle. He tried to wriggle free, trying to get himself out of the mess but he ended up digging himself deeper in the hole. Calum didn’t feel safe, he began to panic as the man behind him pulled him closer to his body, ignoring the boys small pleas for him to let go. A silent tear began to slip down Calum’s cheek as he struggled to free himself again. Ashton must’ve finally saw how uncomfortable and panicked Calum was and swooped in, grabbing Calum by the arm and pulling him away from the crowd and back to where he stood back at the island. Calum sighed as soon as he was out of the crowd, hiding in Ashton’s neck and wrapping his arms around the older boys’ neck and pulled him close as another tear fell.

Ashton’s arms snaked around Calum’s waist and instead of pushing them away, Calum accepted them. They felt much safer and more like home than the ones that were on him before. Calum couldn’t believe he was actually this close to love of his life, and Ashton was allowing it. “It’s okay, Cal. You’re safe now. I’ve got you bub.”

They stayed like that for a while, or at least until Calum had calmed down. Once he was settled and his heart rate when back to somewhat normal, Calum pulled away, rubbing at his eyes. He uttered a weak apology for getting tear on the older boys shirt soaked with tears. Ashton reassured the boy that it was nothing but Calum still felt bad. And knowing Calum, he’d feel bad for a while. Suddenly, Calum felt the need for a drink, especially after everything that had happened. He carefully reached his arm out, moving away from Ashton and grabbing a can from off the island. Ashton noticed, and took Calum’s tanned hand in his own and brought it to his mouth; his lips pressing a soft and feather light kiss to the back of it. Calum could feel his face light up bright red as he turned away and let Ashton keep kissing his hands. Calum looked up, staring right into Ashton’s eyes. Calum fell even more in love with the boy; if that was even possible. For some reason, in Calum’s drunken state, he started to make a mental list of everything he loved about Ashton, starting with his caring and loving attitude and adding everything else afterwards. The list was almost a mile long. This boy loved Ashton more than himself and he wanted nothing more to kiss him right then and there.

“No more for you, babe.” Ashton said, letting go of Calum’s hands and moving them up to cup Calum’s face. “You don’t need any more in your system, okay? We don’t want you making a mess, got it baby boy?”

Not thinking as before he spoke, he whined, “But daddy, I want it.”

“Goddamn you and that dirty mouth of yours,” Ashton groaned, looking up at the ceiling. Calum was too far gone to catch that statement, he was still taking in all of the older boys features and all the beauty he held. He didn’t even realize what he had said. “I’m taking you home.” Ashton said louder, pulling Calum away from his daydream. Calum whined, not wanting to go home; he didn’t want to leave Ashtons personal space and he didn’t want to face his mother and father. He’d definitely be in trouble for being out so late, despite already being an adult.

“I don’t wanna go home,” He cried. “My mom’s home and she’s going to kill me if I show up like this!”

“Fine, you’re coming back to mine.” Ashton sighed, resting his forehead on Calums. Calum had to fight back the urge to lean up and kiss him, finally figuring out what the older boy tasted like. Instead, he just closed his eyes and nodded, basking in the closeness of the two and the warmth radiating off of Ashton.

“Okay.”

Ashton, being the responsible older person, hadn’t a single drop of alcohol in his body, which meant he had to drive his younger sister, Calum and the other two members of their crew, home so he knew they got home safely. Calum was sat next to Ashton in the passenger side of the older boys black Jeep Grand Cherokee, staring out the window, spacing out. He ignored every attempt Hayes or Michael made at talking to him, he didn’t want to talk. He was too tired and still a little shaken about the previous events. He felt so gross and dirty, especially after what had happened on the dance floor. He had promised himself that he’d never do anything like that with anyone unless it was Ashton, but then he went and did that with some creepy boy he didn’t know at all and he just wanted to shower. He shivered; he could still feel the other boys’ hands on him, so cold and so foreign on his body. He felt sick to the stomach, either from all the beer he had to drink or from the feeling of the hands on him; he wasn’t sure.

Luke and Michael got out first, both going to Lukes parents’ house. Calum smiled to himself as he watched Luke tug Michael behind him, running to the door. From the look on Michaels face, he could only assume that Michael had grown a pair and told Luke he loved him. And since everyone knew that Luke was an extremely horny 17 year old but also a lovesick fool, he would’ve loved to get Michael in the sheets with him. The two of them barely made it to the door before they were sucking each other’s face off. Calum chuckled and quickly unlocked his phone and clicked on his and mikeys conversation, shooting him a quick text. 

“guess you grew a pair lmao. don’t forget to use protection, bro”

Hayes was next, the car stopping at the end of the Irwin household. Calum snickered when he watched her stumble out of the car, followed by Ashton sighing. Hayes slowly made her way to the side of the car where Calum was sat and tapped on the window. Calum opened the door and let her kiss him on the cheek. Before they pulled away, she whispered a small “go get ‘em tiger” and kissed his cheek, leaving a blushing and flustered Calum alone, with a wide open door. He sat in shock for a brief second before shaking his head and closing the door, staring straight ahead. The car pulled away as soon as the front door had shut. It was just Calum and Ashton, and Hayes’ words kept replaying in his head. He felt a bunch of butterflies fluttering around in his stomach as soon as Ashton leaned forward and checked on Calum who offered the older boy a soft smile.

During the 10 minute ride form the Irwin household to Ashton’s loft, Calum had managed to pass out, his head leaning against the car window. He felt at peace for the first time that night, there was nothing that could make him feel unsafe when he was with Ashton, who Calum knew wouldn’t let him out of his sight. Calum smiled in his sleep, causing Ashton to smile at the younger boy fondly.

Once Ashton had managed to carry a snoring Calum inside the door of his loft, he gently placed the boy on Ashton’s queen sized bed, making sure not to wake or disturb the boy on the way down the hall. Ashton began taking off Calum’s boots and socks, careful not to wake the sleeping boy, he looked so peaceful, so helpless as he snored and snuggled into the comforter on Ashtons bed. He then slowly moved his hands up to Calums button up shirt, undoing the 5 buttons Calum had left buttoned and pulled the material off slowly, Ashton trying his best not to get distracted by Calums defined body and gorgeous tanned skin. But he couldn’t help it. And he tried not to get turned on as he removed Calums pants, but luckily Calum had woken up a little and was helping Ashton replace the black jeans with a pair of Ashtons old sweatpants. He carefully moved the boy further up on the bed and tucked him under the covers. Ashton walked into the bathroom, running a hand through his curls as he stared in the mirror. He splashed a bit of cold water in his face, trying to stop the images of the golden Maori boy that was curled up in his bed. But he couldn’t.

Ashton quickly changed from the black button up and blue jeans he was wearing and into something more comfortable. He slid on the pair of dark grey sweats he had from earlier and a ripped Metallica shirt before walking back into the room and tossing his dirty clothes into his laundry hamper. He looked back at the shirtless boy in his bed and debated whether or not he should stay in the bed with Calum or if it was better if he slept on the couch.

“Ashton?” Calum called out, sitting up on his elbows, scanning the darkened room for the hazel eyed boy. Ashton sighed and sat on the foot of the bed. Calum visibly relaxed as Ashton patted his leg. “Can you stay with me? I don’t feel so good.” Ashton muttered a quiet “yeah” and crawled up the bed and settled beside Calum, facing the ceiling and leaving a decent amount of space between them, despite wanting to hold Calum to his chest more than anything. Calum wasn’t happy about the space between them and since Ashton didn’t seem to be moving any closer, he took matters into his own hands and moved closer to the older boy, craving Ashton’s arms wrapped around him. He scooted close enough so his side was touching Ashton, who had tensed up, and slowly wrapped his arms around Ashton’s waist, lying half on top of him and letting his head rest under Ashton’s chin. Ashton hesitated for moment, before realizing that the boy wasn’t pulling away so Ashton pulled him in more and wrapped his arms loosely around Calum. They both fell into a deep sleep, holding each other like their life depended on it.

Calum woke up to the sun shining right into his eyes. He had a killer headache and he felt like the human embodiment of Death. He definitely underestimated the strength of this hangover; this was by far the worst he’s ever had. It for sure beats the one he had after Michaels 18th birthday, and that one was a huge fucking disaster. He stayed away from alcohol and their old history teacher for a good 4 months after that incident.

As Calum began to wake up for real, he panicked. He wasn’t in his room, or a room he even recognized for that matter. It was unlike any of his friends rooms, which means he was at a strangers house or he was still at the party hosts house in a guest room. But what confused him the most was that he remembered Ashton driving him home, so he had to be somewhere other than Jacob’s house. Calum pulled the comforter over his head, trying to stop the light from shining in his eyes and to calm himself. He felt a lot better when he recognized the scent in the unfamiliar bed. He was at Ashton’s loft.

To confirm his theory, Ashton came into the room, wearing hid glasses that Calum absolutely adored and his curls were all messed up on the top of his head and Calum just wanted to reach out and run his hand through them. God, he was screwed. He was even more screwed when Ashton finally spoke, his voice so tired and raspy, sending tiny shivers and goosebumps all over Calum’s body. He noticed Ashton was carrying a bottle of water and some Tylenol in his large hands.

“Thought you may need these,” Ashton laughed, placing the bottles on the bedside table on Calum’s side. On the table was also Calum’s clothes folded and neatly placed with his phone sitting on top of the pile, plugged into a charger. Ashton gave him a warm smile. “And I called your mom and told her you were staying with me.”

“Thank you, Ash.” Calum smiled as Ashton threw himself on to the bed, a few centimeters from where Calum laid. Calum knew Ashton was worried he’d scare Calum away if he were to get too close but Calum wanted to let the older boy know that he wasn’t planning on going anywhere as long as Ashton would have him. So slowly, he rolled over to face Ashton, and like last night, tucked his head under his chin and nuzzled Ashton’s toned chest with his nose. Calum only dared to pull away when he realized he needed to ask the one question on his mind.

“So I don’t really remember a whole lot from last night, so, um, did uh, anything, like, happen?” Calum asked sheepishly. He instantly hid his face back in Ashton’s chest as the older boy just chuckled and ran a hand through Calum’s dark curls.

“No, god no. You were too wasted, and I wasn’t going to take advantage of you like that. I just cut you off from the drinks, told you I was taking you home. You started crying, I offered for you to stay with me, and so I brought you back here. Then I got you in bed and you asked me to stay so I did.” Ashton explained, while Calum just nodded, so glad that nothing happened. He didn’t know what he would do if his first time was when he was drunk. He would hate himself for years if that was the case. He wanted his first time to be something he remembered for the rest of his life.

“Thanks, again.” Calum whispered. He had another question. “Did I, uh, say anything I’m going to regret?”

Ashton chuckled, remembering the specific moment. “Well, I dont know if you'll regret it, it may just make you embarassed.”

“Oh god. What did I say?”

“Well, I may have called you baby boy after I took the beer away from you.” Calum felt his face heat up. He remembered this part now. “And you replied with “but daddy, I want it” but that’s about it.”

“Oh,” Was all Calum could say. It took him a few moments before he could continue and apologize. “I’m so sorry about that. I’m such a weird drunk, I swear. I knew I should just stay away from that shit. Fuck my life, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Ashton purred, his lips grazing the shell of Calum’s ear. “I kind of liked it.”

Calum choked, unsure if he heard him correctly. “What?”

“I said,” Ashton moved so his body was hovering over Calums, his lips brushing over Calums ever so slightly as he whispered. Calum stopped breathing for sure. “I liked it when you called me daddy. And the way you shivered when I called you baby boy. Fuck, that was so hot, it took everything in me not to just kiss you.”

Calum let his hands roam all over Ashtons chest, feeling the muscles contract and tense under his soft touch. Above him, Ashton was biting his lip, watching Calum with such hunger and love in his eyes. Calum suddenly felt a boost of confidence as he looked up into Ashtons eyes. Calum dragged a single finger down the older boys torso, and stopping just above the waistband of his sweatpants. Ashton groaned, bucking his hips forward. Calum smirked and licked his lips.

“So, Ashton Irwin has a daddy kink? Why am I not surprised?” He laughed, dragging his hands back up and skimming them across the older boys jawline.

“Oh, you know I do, baby boy.” Calum hummed at the use of that nickname, it had always been a weakness for Calum and it seems as though Ashton knew that prior to the night before. Calum glanced down at their bodies and noticed that they were both semi-hard and Calum wanted to fix that. Pushing all his nerves away, he moved his hand down Ashtons body again, this time not stopping as he reached the waistband, slipping his hand in past the band and palming Ashton over his boxers. Ashton let out a small moan and ground his hips down into Calums, emitting a loud moan from the younger boy.

“How about I help you with that problem of yours Daddy? It seems to be extremely painful.” Calum whispered seductively in Ashtons ear as he still rubbed Ashtons now rock hard member. Ashton leaned down and groaned before attaching their lips in a heated kiss.

“You really want that?” Ashton asked, making sure the boy was okay with this. Calum nodded, maybe a little too fast, before looking up into Ashtons eyes with his doe like ones and bit his lip, his movements picking up over Ashtons dick.

“Please, Daddy. You know I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to leave some feedback!
> 
> if you want you can follow me on  
> tumblr: hailiee-mc  
> instagram: effervescent5sos


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